All I could think about is him. I stare at his photo, before I go to sleep.
Today, I had to escape my life and be alone in my thoughts and memories of him.
Silly things crossed my mind. Sad memories surfaced.
I cried, laughed, and drove with a heavy heart.
I drove down the highway, almost in a trance. Everything was blurred, lights behind cars glowed red, tears ran down my face. I listened to Coldplay. Too many of their songs, made me sad and provided me with memories, and imagined realities of him sitting next to me, as I drove the long dark road.
I felt that I heard messages in each song. Messages of him never leaving me, always in his thoughts, forever my love. I drove with the rooftop open, with the cool air brushing past. I looked up at the stars and felt comfort in knowing that he did the same. I used to hope that we stared at the sky, at the same time, thinking of one another. He loved nature. He was connected to the elements, the cold winters, the stormy seas, and the beautiful Cornish countryside. He knew the feeling of the salty spray of the coastal waves and crisp coldness on his bare hands, as he drove his bike all alone.
He was My Green Eyes, My Happless Romantic (this is what he told me he was; always looking for love; a Renaissance Man, he was) and my heart.
I drove until I felt worn by our memories and pain in my heart. Time disappeared quickly, as I drove towards my home. When I entered, I came back home to the normalcy of my life and pretended I was not suffering, and greeted everyone, with a smile upon my face.
I miss you Simon.
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