Watching

Simon and I did pretty non-conventional stuff, to make our relationship as ordinary and normal as possible. Our distance didn't stop us from sharing time, moments, our lives and commonalities, with one another. An example of our creativity and imagination came out when wanted to be as close as we could, when it was obvious we couldn't be.

I remember watching a movie: 28 Days. I had asked him how they made downtown London look so abandoned and discussed that I liked zombie/end of the world movies, such as this. Why I do? I'm not sure; a bit morbid I know. I suppose it's the flirtation of death, from a safe distance, in the cozy confines of home that make it attractive.

In Simon's British accent (damn he was as sexy as hell; I could've listened to his voice all day and night), he told me how the scene of a deserted London was filmed, at 5:00 in the morning, he said. Here are his exact words from that time (I miss him so much):

"Good, picture this, as I type this email sitting on my couch, tv towards my right, filmfour on 28 days later starting at 11.15 good horror film, me, slacks on, black t-shirt laptop on lap, a cold coke on the floor, (hopefully I won't knock it over) haha, a bag of pistachoio nuts on the couch, (love to have munchies when a good film is on)..light switch on dimmer, it's cosy warm. Here I am, doing exactly this, we may be far away but soon we will be together, and if you want we could snuggle up together on the couch, read, watch films, or just being in each other's arms........I love you, I swear on my life(if I'm lying, God strike me down now).............No, I'm still here haha, so there you go babe, I'm yours totally."

I must've asked him if we were watching the same movie because he replied,

"Yes that's right, the same film, o.k it's going to start, we'll watch the film together o.k darling, I'll save you some pistachios.................love you xXx"

He went on to say,

"Did you know when the bloke wakes up and walks around London, it was actually like that, they filmed that seen at something like 5 in the morning, Brilliant.............what you are wearing sounds lovely, yum..............love you x"

This all sounds so surreal. I can't believe that this was once my life. With my Simon,  my green eyes,  my happless romantic. I am glad though, that I still have his words to comfort me and make our mark on this world indelible.  I guarantee you, he never thought I'd put him in a place, to share with the world,  to keep him alive and his simple world real. He will never be forgotten and will live on, as long as I'm alive.

"Enjoy the film as I will, then it will be off to bed for me, so I'll say goodnight to you now, love you darling, x"

If only I were able to do all he wanted. I would've been more than happy, to eat pistachios with him, in his warm house shielding him from the Cornish winter.

Goodnight my love.
 I love you too.